Lying in bed next to my husband, John, I writhed in agony. Something was horribly, terribly wrong.

‘John, I’m dying,’ I managed to cry out in pain.

It was 4am in March 2009 and our then-four-year-old son was asleep in the house so John jumped into action, calling an ambulance and asking my mum to come over and babysit.

For two weeks leading up to this I’d been bleeding heavily outside of my cycle with painful cramping. I’d been to the GP where we live in Edinburgh and even to A&E multiple times but no one had been able to help or give me any answers.

Now it was much, much worse.

I had this instinct that something very serious had happened and I knew my life was at risk.

With the blue lights of the ambulance outside lighting up the hallway, my four-year-old appeared in the doorway, bleary-eyed.

‘Mummy is going to be fine, a doctor is going to make me better,’ I promised him, before leaving him with my mum to travel to hospital with John.

At the hospital, we were kept waiting in A&E and the pain continued but when I passed more blood and tissue I pleaded with John to get help – I couldn’t wait any longer.

John got me the attention I needed and I was quickly seen by a consultant who soon told me, with certainty, that I was experiencing a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and an immediate operation was required.

I barely remember signing consent forms before being rushed into life-saving surgery.

It was only after waking up in recovery that I began to understand what had happened to me.

I had heard the term ectopic pregnancy before, but didn’t know much about it. Plus, I had been fitted with a copper coil after my son was born – I shouldn’t have fallen pregnant at all.

I learned that an ectopic pregnancy happens when the fertilised egg grows outside of the uterus, usually in a fallopian tube.

The foetus can’t survive outside of the uterus but the tissues can grow and cause a blockage that will eventually burst (rupture) out of the fallopian tube.

When this happens, it’s a life-threatening emergency because it can cause such huge blood loss. It also means that the ruptured fallopian tube has to be removed.

If an ectopic pregnancy is detected before it ruptures, it can usually be treated safely.

I hadn’t been given that opportunity.

For two weeks, I’d tried to find answers to the pain I’d been experiencing. I’d taken time away from my busy job as a senior account planner at an ad agency to attend appointments and visit the hospital, where medical professionals didn’t lay a finger on me or even give me even a blood or urine test.

At home, our preschool son had wanted me to play, but for a fortnight I’d spent most of my time curled up in a ball in agony, while trying to keep up with work. It was horrific.

The doctors I’d seen before the rupture should have recognised the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy, and I should have been tested, but instead I’d been left in a state of decline.

Close friends and colleagues had commented on the fact that my appearance was turning grey, rather than my usual healthy pink.

Once I’d been dismissed from hospital post-surgery, I was signed off from work for three months to recover from the huge blood loss and emergency procedure.

I spent the recovery time lying on the sofa, eating the prescribed spinach and red meat at mealtimes. I was keen to get back to work, but needed to build my strength back up first.

On my first day back my boss asked to see me. I hoped he would reassure me that I had been missed, let me know what exciting new projects he had lined up for me, or even just ask after my health.

But during our meeting he didn’t ask after my health, but rather seemed to dismiss the seriousness of my experience and I understood from our conversation that the work I’d completed, on the day I was hospitalised, had been considered ‘substandard.’

I was staggered and it was at that moment that I knew I needed to make a change.

John and I had discussed trying to have a second child once I had recovered, so despite having set my sights on working in advertising since my teenage years, I decided to leave the industry, hoping to take maternity leave and never go back.

Thankfully my daughter was born in 2010 with no issues despite me having only one remaining fallopian tube.

And when my statutory maternity leave ended, I handed in my notice.

For 18 months, I stayed at home with our children and gave myself the time and space to plan my next career steps.

We’d been through such a sobering experience that I wanted to be present with my family.

I also decided to give feedback to the Scottish Health Board to ask them to improve their training to recognise the risk of ectopic pregnancy in female patients with abdominal pain and to test for pregnancy in all women with symptoms.

I was told too much time had passed for my complaint to be actioned officially, but I still felt better for raising the issue. I hope it made a difference.

The whole experience was hugely damaging to my confidence and I decided not to return to advertising agencies when I did go back to work.

In fact it took years for me to return to my first career love, marketing.

While our children were young I launched and ran a hip-hop dance company flexibly around nursery and school hours.

Finally, in 2017 I felt I had the confidence to go back to my marketing roots and started Enjoy Marketing.

Over time, my offers and services grew. Now we have a team of five working for us, including John and me. Everyone at Enjoy Marketing is treated with respect and trust which remains a huge priority for me.

I’ve also launched a podcast – From Overlooked To Fully Booked – to support other business owners on their journey and help make marketing accessible to them.

All of this is only possible because I’m still here. I’m so lucky I can say a ruptured ectopic pregnancy only changed my life, rather than ending it.

As told to Michelle Morgan Davies

This article was originally published January 5, 2025

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